Sports

Ole Miss Chooses New Mascot; Admiral Ackbar Relieved

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“Rebel Black Bear” will now lead Ole Miss to defeat in SEC

Photo of Admiral Ackbar
Admiral Ackbar, left, was semi-finalist in Ole Miss hunt for new mascot. Ackbar famously led the Rebel Alliance fleet's attack on the Death Star.

In an attempt to rid itself of connotations and imagery related to the Old South, and the embarrassment of losing a civil war that happened a century-and-a-half ago, the University of Mississippi Rebels—better known as Ole Miss—has adopted a new mascot to replace Colonel Reb: a bear.

Ole Miss, who has been without a mascot ever since it sacked Colonel Reb in 2003, announced their decision at a press conference in Oxford, Mississippi on October, 15, 2010.

Image of Ole Miss bear mascot
The Rebel Black Bear, new mascot at Ole Miss

The Rebel Black Bear, as he or she will be known, beat out fellow candidates that included a Rebel Landshark, “Hotty Toddy” (presumably in honor of the hot alcoholic drink that is not typically associated with southern cuisine), and Admiral Ackbar— the former leader of the Rebel Alliance space fleet who successfully blew up Death Star II near the forest moon of Endor. Continue reading Ole Miss Chooses New Mascot; Admiral Ackbar Relieved →

Sports

MLB Playoffs 2010, Part II: ALDS Pre-Mortem Report

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Photo of McGuire twins
The McGuire Twins, the world’s fattest twins ever to simultaneously ride a motorcycle, have a better chance of defeating the New York Yankees than the Minnesota Twins.

As the first post in this series was relegated to why we should cheer for anybody but the Yankees, I failed to deliver any analysis as to who will actually win, and why.  Thus far, each series has been completely one-sided, with the exception of the Atlanta Braves’ gutsy come-from-behind win in San Francisco last night (which, by the way, is easily the best game of the 2010 Playoffs, and a prime example of why post-season baseball reigns supreme).  Barring miracle or injury, the first round of the American League Divisional Series will provide much of the same.

With 25 percent of the playoff teams heading for the gallows today, I won’t focus on who will win; we already know what will happen.  We will examine the reasons why the hated Yankees and the Texas Rangers will win and advance to the American League Championship Series.
Continue reading MLB Playoffs 2010, Part II: ALDS Pre-Mortem Report →

Sports

MLB Playoffs Preview, Part I: A Guide to Yankee Hating

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October has arrived and it is now arguably the best time of year in many respects.  Gone are the sweltering 100-degree days that numbered aplenty in 2010, giving way to a pleasant change of season.  More importantly, October marks the beginning of a month’s worth of Major League Baseball playoff games that, when coupled with football gaining momentum, forms the most supreme combination that the sporting world has to offer.

October also inherently means that the New York Yankees and their $206 million dollar payroll are again on the prowl for another World Series ring—a feat that is a love-hate proposition for followers of baseball.  Mostly hate…

Photos of annoying Yankee fans
A small sampling of annoying Yankees fans.

Before the games get underway and the sporting media machine begins its month-long coronation ceremony by showering its unabashed love on the New York Yankees—the single truism guaranteed to be imposed upon viewers this fall—let’s examine four simple reasons why we should rabidly root for the fiery demise of the Bronx Bombers.  Figuratively, people; figuratively…

Continue reading MLB Playoffs Preview, Part I: A Guide to Yankee Hating →

Entertainment

These Boots Weren’t Made for Walking: A Guide to Women’s Fall Fashion

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Fall is officially here, which means it is officially Boot Season. I know what you’re thinking.  “A post about fashion?  Here?”  Believe me; I am with you on this one.  I do not claim to be an expert on fashion and freely admit I know nothing about the subject–and I relish this ignorance.  But I am observant.  I know what I like and, most importantly, what I don’t like.  That’s what we’re here to talk about today.  Women’s footwear…Boots.

Images of women wearing furry boots
Boots with fur: decent for a Rocky Mountain winter, perfect for a summer in Santa Monica.

I admit, I was—and still am—a fan of certain types of women’s boots.  Knee-high black leather boots are particularly nice, especially when paired with a short skirt (for some reason).  This look more than adequately lends itself to visions of a top-secret female Russian spy—complete with heavy accent and a plan to forcefully seduce her unsuspecting male prey on the cold streets of Moscow.  But from that foundation of Sexy Spy, a conglomeration of fur, fleece, fringe, glitter and suede has obliterated the fine balance between form and function–and more importantly, the notion of being seduced.

Continue reading These Boots Weren’t Made for Walking: A Guide to Women’s Fall Fashion →

Politics

Satanic Witchcraft vs. Marxism: Elections 2010

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Delaware Senate race to showcase epic battle between good and evil

In case you haven’t noticed, the never-ending cycle of campaign politics is rearing its ugly head yet again in our beloved United States of America.  Much like the previous decade of dualistic political struggle, it is another exercise in snake oil sales and soothsaying—a tired act that only masks the candidates’ true intentions as they jockey for position to wrap their bloated sausage fingers around the withering teat of our nation’s cash flow.  A flow, mind you, comprised of hundreds of billions of dollars in payday loans from our friends in communist China.

The race for one of Delaware’s seats in the U.S. Senate promises to offer a close-up look at the universal struggle between Good and Evil, or Republicans (or a Tea Partier who is really a Republican in disguise) vs. Democrats.  However, the roles are completely redefined in this latest clash, where the Great Satan is now manifest in a Republican form, but faces an evil even greater than Lucifer himself—a Marxist.

Photo of Satan and Karl Marx
Satan (left) and Karl Marx (right) square off in a battle of who is the greater evil. According to Fox News reports, Marx and his proponents have just taken over the universe's No. 1 rank of Supreme Being of Evil from Satan.

Before we get to the Main Event, let’s take a look at the Tale of the Tape. Continue reading Satanic Witchcraft vs. Marxism: Elections 2010 →

Taking Aim from Neutral Ground