All posts by Troy Beckman

Dad-metal, Angels baseball, surviving life in the so-called third world.
Lifestyle

Food Truck Fetish Fridays

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Image of food truck

In an attempt to launch a new series on this blog, I am going to dedicate each Friday to food—specifically, food served from a truck. You see, I recently won (OK, my wife and our friend won) a raffle prize at an event called “Trucko de Mayo” entitling us (OK, mostly me so far) to a free meal from more than 30 different food trucks in the Washington, D.C. area.

With that, I have the unique opportunity to sample a variety of cuisine while inhaling the sweet essence of diesel fumes in our nation’s capital. In doing so, I will review the vendors and dishes…mostly just for fun. More importantly, I hope to decipher whether the food truck craze is justified by virtue of the quality of their menus, or whether it is simply a passing fad to capitalize on our insatiable quest as Americans to eat in every possible location, venue and setting throughout our great country.

Since I occasionally watch foodie programs on TV and am biologically programmed to consume food to survive, you can rest assured that my opinion counts just as much as any other Joe Schmoe on TV who has ever taken a bite into a luscious carne asada taco only to be met with disgust upon recognizing that the “meat” consists of heavily seasoned shoulder fat scraped together from the butcher’s refuse pile.

But first, a quick look into the foodie phenomenon that has overtaken the U.S. of A.

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Sports

Major League Baseball 2012: The Year of the Heart Attack

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Image of baseball 2012 heart attack monitor

Ladies and gentlemen, baseball is back.

Each year, we hear that hope springs eternal. No matter which team you cheer for, every baseball fan of any team—both young and old—has a reason to be optimistic. Unless you live in Kansas City, Houston, or Seattle.

While the passing of the vernal equinox promises renewed life for all sentient beings in the northern hemisphere, the summer of 2012 threatens to eclipse this notion by offering a smattering of opportunities for baseball fans to watch life slip away, all whilst enjoying our nation’s pastime at the local stadium. If you support a terrible team, this may come as a welcome change from suffering through a miserable 162-game slog to the familiar confines of the musty cellar.

Whatever your reason for attending a game, fans of all ages will gain unprecedented access to a level of baseball enjoyment in 2012 that will surely test the bounds of mortal life. I am not talking about experiencing your team winning the World Series, witnessing a no-hitter, or catching a free t-shirt fired out of a cannon.

I am talking about baseball’s foray into the latest innovative, delectable stadium junk food that promises to draw millions of fans through turnstiles across the country.

Sure, every stadium has its signature bite, whether it’s a cheesesteak at Citizens Bank Park in Philly, Rally Fries at Safeco Field in Seattle, or the overrated Dodger Dog in Los Angeles. This season, however, will see the birth of a new and improved species of foodstuffs that will leave thousands exiting the park on stretchers.

It is 2012 – the year of the heart attack.

A look at some of the notable additions to the rosters of several stadiums’ food vendors will explain why.

Continue reading Major League Baseball 2012: The Year of the Heart Attack →

Sports

National Nightmare Unleashed: NFL Playoffs 2012 Part Deux

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Image of Tim Tebow and Justin Bieber
Mr. Popularity: What do these two have in common? Apparently, a lot more than I possibly imagined.

Well, after declaring false prophecy last week when I picked Pittsburgh to dispose of Tim Tebow and the Broncos, I was not expecting to be blindsided by a tsunami of unparalleled hype. However, when I read the news Thursday morning that an ESPN poll rates Tim Tebow as the most popular athlete in the U.S., I — apparently unlike a lot of people — experienced acute disgust at yet another Tebow headline. But this was far worse. As Charles Barkley so eloquently states, this is more than just turrible, it’s a national nightmare.

After my stomach had settled down somewhat from rage-induced vomiting, I became perplexed at how all of this is even possible. Then a “light bulb moment” struck me. I realized that Americans, as a whole, have the absolute worst taste in just about everything imaginable. We are a nation that loves the taste of McDonald’s. We lap up sequel after sequel of horrible movies faster than Hollywood can rip them off and spew them out. Almost half of us voted George W. Bush into office in 2000 and more than half re-elected the buffoon to a second term.

Perhaps our greatest detriment as a society at large is an unfounded infatuation with pre-pubescent bubble gum pop music. That’s when it hit me. I realized that Tim Tebow is the Justin Bieber of sports.

This realization did not settle my stomach any, but it has allowed me to make sense of the Tebow phenomenon unlike anything else before.

Continue reading National Nightmare Unleashed: NFL Playoffs 2012 Part Deux →

Sports

Questions, Answers, and False Idols: NFL Wild Card Weekend

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Image of Tim Tebow
"Forgive them, for they know not what they do." Tim Tebow, worshipped as a false idol in Denver and across the country, prays for the salvation of his followers...and a victory over Pittsburgh on the Sabbath.

Predicting winners in the NFL Playoffs is much like picking the winner of a Presidential Election. With the start of the Republican primary campaigns polluting television screens across America, we are inundated with numbers from the latest popularity polls and so-called expert opinion, only to witness these prognostications rendered meaningless when final results roll in and evaporate the fanfare. As in life, so as in football.

However, unlike politics, the opinions of your everyday American slob actually bear weight in the landscape of our country’s rich culture and tradition. We can also take solace in knowing that one cannot lobby or simply buy their way to victory as we experience each election cycle, but that wins can only be gained—and manifest—on the actual field (except in college football). With that, I present my keen insight and clairvoyance in picking the winners for Wild Card Weekend.

As always, this is not the place where we examine statistical breakdowns or X’s and O’s. No, my friends, this is a genuine, red-blooded American blog where we need no facts to form opinion and no numbers to prove we’re right. We create our own logic and rationale based on gut feeling and inexplicable bias.

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Sports

Open Letter to David Stern

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Well, apparently these letters work for Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, so I figure Dr. Buss might want to use this in the appeal process to veto David Stern’s veto on the Chris Paul trade:

Image of letter to David Stern