Elections 2010: California Experiences “High Voter Turnout”

Proposition 19 Triggers Spike in Voter Registration among Liberal Pothead Demographic

California boasts an illustrious political history that few states can match.  Over the past 50 years, the Golden State has given us presidents Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, and more recently, has provided us with other iconic public figures with equally impressive track records such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Nancy Pelosi.
Image of Prop 19 Banner
Perhaps even more notorious than the politicians spawned from California are the ubiquitous, controversial propositions that appear on ballots during each election cycle.  In addition to potentially altering legislation, these hot-button issues serve mainly to anger and divide citizens of the state, as well as the rest of us across the U.S. who must rely on our elected officials to overturn our civil and Constitutional rights rather than do so by our own hand.

Two years ago, Proposition 8—the infamous bill to ban marriage between homosexuals—took center stage in California and garnered the attention of the entire nation.  The costly campaign to drive voters to the polls and support the measure drew enormous amounts of external funding, much of it coming from the religious right who reside beyond state lines.  As a result, California became a moral and political battleground for American politics.

We all know what happened.  Droves of frenzied citizens flocked to voting booths to exercise their unfounded authority to deny alternative segments of fellow Californians the right to legally marry each other.  On the other side of the spectrum, people turned out in record numbers to vote against the proposition only to be ultimately outnumbered by selfish heterosexuals who wish to reserve the legal right to marry–and subsequently cheat, divorce, and sue–as a sacred privilege to be shared only between a man and a woman.

This year, California ballots will feature a much different issue to be put up for public vote: Proposition 19—the move to legalize marijuana.  While the outcome remains to be seen, one thing is imminent: high voter turnout.  Pun intended.
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Are You an NPR Listener? You Might Be Saddam Hussein, Warns Rove

Karl Rove Reveals “45 Percent of NPR Listeners Were Saddam Hussein” in Latest Emission

Are you like me?  Do you listen to National Public Radio?  When I am stuck in traffic, I enjoy battling fits of road rage by flipping the station to NPR to catch up on the day’s events, hear about a new book or movie that might be appealing, or rediscover the antiquated approach to news coverage in the U.S.: objectivity.

It turns out that this behavior might reveal a shocking fact you or I never realized: we might be Saddam Hussein.

Photo of NPR listener Saddam Hussein
"Raise your hand if you listen to NPR"

As we know, NPR has been in the spotlight following their recent firing of Juan Williams in response to his comments he made on Fox News’ “The O’Reilly Factor” about his fear of people in Muslim garb on airplanes.  This has triggered a flash of debate among news outlets and members of the media as to whether Williams’ sacking was ethical or justified.

Perhaps the voice soundest of all in this firestorm is Karl Rove.  In a debate with former Democratic Governor of Vermont, Howard Dean, about the incomparable merits of entertainment giant Fox/News Corporation vis-à-vis all other media outlets—NPR, in particular—Rove delivered his knockout punch.  He boldly stated that “45 percent of NPR listeners were Saddam Hussein.”

Rove’s nugget was in response to Howard Dean’s citation of a 2003 University of Maryland poll indicating that 45 percent of Fox News viewers harbored misconceptions about the Iraq war, including the belief of a proven link between the war the the events of 9/11, compared to 11 percent of public radio and television audiences.

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Going Vogue: Sarah Palin Set to Officially Become Reality TV Star

Former Partial Term Governor and Aspiring Celebrity to Kick Off Reality Series on TLC November 14

If being the face of the Tea Party Movement and its far-right agenda wasn’t enough to satisfy Sarah Palin’s unquenchable desire to be in front of a camera, then something must be wrong, right? Turns out, this assumption is correct.  And we should be afraid.

Sarah Palin is launching a new reality television show this fall.

“Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is set to run for eight weeks, offering viewers the opportunity to see more of “Mama Grizzly” on the TV screen—this time, in her natural habitat.

Photo of famous television grizzlies
Palin is the latest self-proclaimed “grizzly” to gain their own television show, preceded by Gentle Ben (left) and Grizzly Adams (middle).

In a sharp twist of irony, the show will air on The Learning Channel (TLC).  However, there may actually be a few lessons to glean from exclusive behind-the-scenes access to the one-time Alaskan governor’s family life.

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Better Workouts for a Better Environment at The Greenasium

New “green” fitness studio offers innovative, eco-friendly approach for a healthy lifestyle

Photo of Greenasium sign

When we think of going to the gym, many of us immediately conjure up images dodging through massive strip mall parking lots filled with Hummers and holiday shoppers, and flocking toward the luminescent glow of the Gold’s Gym, Bally’s, or L.A. Fitness sign looming in the distance.  After conquering the gauntlet outside, you enter through a set of double doors and scan your barcode as if you were entering the cold confines of CIA headquarters.  The impersonal touch of corporate America weighs heavily upon your shoulders—and your conscience—before you even break a sweat.  From here, it only gets worse.

Having gained access to the building, you wander through a labyrinth of exercise bikes, treadmills and elliptical machines—all of which are occupied by men and women trying to forget about their current task at hand.  Even they don’t want to be here.  Instead, they divert their attention to a bevy of illuminated television screens suspended from above in an effort to seek inspiration from the likes of “Cops,” CNN, FOX and Maury Povich to fuel their workouts.  With each stride and step, the exerciser mindlessly soaks in the numbing rays from the TV and subconsciously begins the countdown to the next Big Mac.

Don’t forget about maneuvering through the packs of the window-workout crowd.  You know—the people that pay $50 a month to meet friends at the gym and talk about how much they hate their co-workers and recommend reputable plastic surgeons to perform the ever-routine nip and tuck.  Hearing about the difficult lives of this next crop of wannabe insecure actresses may result in a particularly productive kickboxing class, but ultimately shaves months—if not years—off the lives of those of us who are aware that this world does, in fact, revolve around the sun.

If you haven’t turned around and headed for the exit by now, you have passed the first obstacle to staying fit in today’s modern world.  You wish there was an easier way.  While you entertain the thought of giving up and embracing a life of obesity, you press forward in search of a better way to build a healthy lifestyle.

What we want is a simple, straightforward approach to counteract the fat-enhancing effects of sitting in an office for 50 hours a week—coupled with our penchant for carne asada burritos—and burn off our excess calories at a place that is clean, convenient, and a comfortable environment. The problem we encounter is that a place like this is not easy to find. Until now…

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Review: Radiant “Red Zone” is Beacon of Enlightenment for NFL Fans

In Uncertain Football Season, NFL Network’s Red Zone a Sure Score

 

Photo of NFL Network anchor Scott Hanson
Scott Hanson from the NFL Network presides from the pulpit of America's fastest-growing socio-religious phenomenon: The NFL Red Zone.

 

Six weeks have passed since the opening kickoff to the 2010 NFL season and there are still many uncertainties as to how this campaign will finish.  Beyond a few perennial truths that include the Lions, Browns, 49ers and Raiders’ annual collective suck-fest and the usual solidity of the AFC East, we know almost nothing about this football season.  A myriad of questions abound that, as of yet, do not have answers such as:

“Are the Cowboys really this bad?”
– Maybe, and I relish every minute of it.

“Who will win the NFC Central division?”
– We have absolutely no idea.

“Will any Cincinnati Bengals get arrested this year?”
– Possibly, but it’s still too early to tell.

“Was that really Brett Favre’s weenie on those text message photos on Deadspin.com?”
– We are divided on this.  Part of us wants to see The Gunslinger absorb this horrible chapter in his career and bounce back to finish with dignity.  However, we remain torn and wish to see the salacious Favre Express train wreck continue to fester and witness his exit from the game having tarnished his legend.  OK, at this point, we want to see the latter.

Among all of these questions, few answers are to be had.  But there is one infallible certainty in this young season: the NFL Network’s Red Zone channel is absolutely fantastic.

In fact, it is beyond fantastic.  For me, it has revolutionized the way I watch football.  And to think this was all an unintended consequence from expanding my cable service in an attempt to catch one or two University of Utah football games on obscure channels leads me to believe this discovery was nothing less than divine providence.

Why, you ask?  Allow me to enlighten…
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Taking Aim from Neutral Ground