The Best and Worst of Christmas Carols

Image of Santa Claus growling heavy metal musicIt’s only a week away from Christmas and many are getting into the holiday spirit with a little mood music in the form of Christmas carols. While it’s rare to receive a knock at the door and be met with a host of neighborhood carolers in wintertime serenade, many holiday revelers get their Christmas music fix from traditional legends like Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis and Mel Torme.

However, a new tradition has made an indelible mark on the yuletide season that influences all who listen to remember the reason for the season. Below is a collection of the best and worst of Christmas hits, made worse by some of rock and metal’s best and worst, for your holiday enjoyment. Also included is, without a doubt, the most awesome Christmas light display in the history of mankind.

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‘Tis the Season to be Angry!

Image of angry Santa Claus

Between crass consumerism, headaches from participating in crass consumerism, news about another bailout to the nation’s richest 1%, and another baseball off-season dominated by reckless spending by the Yankees and Red Sox, there are plenty of reasons to greet this season with a resounding “bah humbug.”

It’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about Super Bowl, summer, or Shark Week. I’m talking about Christmas – the most horrible time of the year. Why, you ask? It’s a rare opportunity for the collective greed and gluttony in America to openly feast upon the less fortunate, laying bare the myth of the so-called American Dream directly before our television-glazed eyes in a move of audacious hypocrisy.

In light of recent events unfolding on several fronts, this year’s orgy has been rendered even bitterer than years past. The wealthy just received their Christmas gift a few weeks early by one of the most unlikely St. Nicks—alleged champion of the middle class, “Democratic” President Barack Obama—in the form of continued tax cuts (unpaid for, over the next two years). Couple that with impending budgetary cuts to services upon which poor, working and middle class families rely, the Ebenezer Scrooge contingent have much to celebrate this hallowed holiday season. Working class slobs will be called upon yet again to shoulder the burden, make sacrifices, and continue to spend money at Christmas to “keep the economy afloat.” That’s code language for “keep the rich wealthy.”

I don’t want to delve too much into the politics of the Bush-Obama Tax Holiday for the richest 1 percent of Americans. I should have known better than to think Mr. Hope and Mr. Yes We Can was anything but another in a long line of smooth-talking politicians willing to disregard the populace who assisted in putting him into office in favor of those that truly punched his ticket to the White House—the ultra-wealthy campaign donors. No, this was beyond the realm of reason or explanation for a guy with his supposed reform agenda. But to avoid going off on a tangent of dumbfounded rage, let’s move on. There are plenty of other examples that occur each year to sufficiently quash the holiday spirit.

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