From candy hearts to heart-shaped diamonds, men have been hoodwinked for centuries in the losing effort to please their women
Ah, Valentine’s Day. Is there a less meaningful or more detestable holiday on the calendar? Surely designed to stroke the fragile egos of insecure lovers while shamelessly bilking them to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars, Valentine’s Day is yet another burden on those of us who struggle to remember — or pretend to care about — our significant others’ birthdays and anniversaries. This so-called day of love serves only to pressure us, particularly guys, to open our wallets and not our hearts or minds to win the affection of the women who claim to love unconditionally.
If we learn anything from Valentine’s Day, it is that unconditional love can be bought with prickly red roses, rich fattening chocolates, insincere remarks printed on greeting cards concocted by a recent English Literature graduate, shiny mylar balloons, and an expensive night out at a trendy restaurant. More severe situations result in being conned into purchasing diamond pendants, bracelets and earrings. Nothing says “Be My Valentine” quite like presenting your lady friend with a piece of jewelry that features a diamond plucked from a treacherous mine in Botswana by a 9-year-old orphan.