The Name Game: Creativity in Naming Children Gone Awry

Small town white populations are overtaking urban black communities’ long-running dominance in creating ridiculous names–and spellings–for their children

In grade school spelling tests, it used to be that even the most underdeveloped children were sure to get at least one answer right: their name.  Now that the new wave of millennium babies have risen to the ranks of schoolchildren, their mothers and fathers have placed that trusted notion in serious jeopardy.

Photo of a moran

Even this guy thinks some parents are "morans" for giving their children odd names.

Parents, in a blatant self-aggrandizing fury, have radicalized the way Americans name their offspring.  They seem to have deserted tradition altogether, scoffing at tried-and-true names found in centuries of literary richness and even Biblical reference, and are opting to hatch titles for their little ones that are better fit for science fiction or strip club nomenclature.

Growing up, many of us might remember the old joke about how people in China name their babies by throwing a fork down the stairs and using the phonetic clanging sounds to string a name together (e.g., Ching Chang Chong, etc).  Maybe a funny thing to laugh off as you wait in line for school lunch in 4th grade, but I assume that it still rattles the funny bones of the same parents who “creatively” name the unripened fruit of their loins.  Little do they know, the joke’s on them.

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